Many emerging leaders assume that confidence comes when self-doubt finally disappears.
They believe that if they could stop questioning themselves, worrying about making mistakes or wondering whether they’re good enough, they would magically become more confident.
In reality, that’s rarely how confidence develops and definitely not what I’ve observed.
Through years of coaching and interviewing leaders, Trevor Merriden, our Founder, has found that even the most successful leaders experience moments of self-doubt. They question decisions and often wonder if they’re doing the right thing.
The difference isn’t that they experience less self-doubt. It’s that that they respond to it differently. They don’t accept every doubtful thought as fact but instead, become curious about it.
They ask themselves questions including:
• Is this highlighting a genuine gap in my knowledge?
• Is this reminding me that I care about the outcome?
• Is this an old story I’ve been telling myself for years?
Instead of treating self-doubt as evidence that they aren’t capable, they start to see it as information. It can either point to something practical that needs attention or it reveals an unhelpful belief that doesn’t serve them anymore.
Curiosity creates the space between the thought and the reaction. It allows leaders to examine what’s actually happening, instead of being driven by their first emotional response.
This is why Curiosity is the first stage of Trevor’s 5Cs framework in his upcoming book, The Confidence Shift: Taking Emerging Leaders from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief.
In our experience at Merriborn, confidence doesn’t come from eliminating self-doubt. It comes from understanding it well enough to decide what thoughts deserve attention and which ones don’t.
What is one valuable lesson you’ve learned from a moment of self-doubt?